Until then…
She visited my house a lot while we courted and agreed to take our relationship a step further by deciding to get married. It started with one night stay, then weekend stays and not long afterward, she spent weeks in my house only visiting her apartment to get extra clothes and other items she needed. The only difference between the married and we was the process we were yet to complete, legalizing our union. Because we practically lived together partially as a couple, I felt it was only proper that we did things together as partners. Thus, I expected that when we got off our bed in the morning, we would manage the chores in the house, prepare breakfast and other meals, do laundry and other activities to make our co-habiting more comfortable but those did not happen. Often when I brought these up, I get the response that we aren’t married yet so I should not expect her to do things around the house like she was now my wife. One day I said ‘Sophia, I think our dating days are preparatory sessions for our marital future. If you are unable to do those little things I suggest at the moment, how do you think, you will do them in the future?’ On good days, I get the usual response ‘UNTIL THEN baby’.
Being a final year student in Nigeria was not an easy task. Twelve courses for the session and a final thesis to crown the many years of learning. Resuming for the final session, I summoned my friend Bassey a few times, so we could immediately commence studying since the course outlines had been provided by most of the lecturers. Imagine! Bassey refused, asking me to take things easy that the semester had just begun. Sometimes I would let him be and sometimes when I insisted he would say ‘Bros, leave me alone. The overzealous attitude of yours is getting too much. I cannot even enjoy myself in this school because I am your friend. The semester has just commenced, rather than let us have some fun; you are already reading like you are Einstein’. When I am in the mood for an argument, I would insist by saying ‘See Bassey, as far as I am concerned, we are going to class today or the library to read. It is always better to begin studying early so we will not start struggling during the examination periods’ ‘Take it, easy bros, don’t worry about all this your studying because of exams UNTIL THEN, let us catch some fun I beg’. He would say
Preparation Woos Opportunity. I have often wondered how great lives can be lived without preparation. I have never seen anyone that desires to win an Olympic medal practicing on the day of the tournament neither have I seen anyone pass an examination if he or she only prepares during the period of the assessment. The idea of ‘UNTIL THEN’, ‘WHEN WE GET TO THAT BRIDGE’ etc, we will cross it, is one that portends that one will never achieve what they ever imagined they could become in their lives.
There is a great friend of mine called Okoh Sherriff with whom I share some common opinions and more different ones but whose tenacity for winning I greatly admire. In 2019, just when we concluded the general elections by reelecting President Mohammadu Buhari expecting to rest until 2023, you see Sherrif already putting forward a candidate he desires should take over governance when the current President completes his tenure. What is currently happening to the rest of us who desire other candidates? Do we think it best to share our dreams now or do we wait UNTIL THEN?
In one of the best books of all times; Richest Man in Babylon, George S. Clason posits, that ‘many loose fortunes, great opportunities, and successes because they failed to prepare’. Many have rather said,
§ When I get this, then I will do that.
§ When I get a gig, then I will learn to sing.
§ When I get a job, then I will dress in suits.
§ When I get married, then I will cook him dinner.
§ When I marry her, then I will buy her flowers.
§ When I get to the party, then I will learn to dance.
We put forth what we want to become yet lack the capacity for execution when the time comes.
A UNTIL THEN syndrome is for someone who lacks vision and does not dare to dream. I have decided never to stick with that formula and I hope you will do the same. Now is our chance to choose the life we want to live by preparing; doing all we can to avoid UNTIL THEN.
Shalom!
Chuka Chiezie
